her heart just wasn’t in it…

“mrs. wilcox did her best with algebra, but her heart just wasn’t in it…”

that’s me these days…i am mrs. wilcox.

my heart is not feelin’ the algebra…

in fact my heart is not “in” a lot of things.

newsflash: my children are driving me nuts. they don’t wanna listen. they don’t wanna do school. they bicker. bicker. bicker. they don’t wanna pray. my house is constantly messy and noisy. i am constantly grading papers and tidying messes.

and it all makes me not wanna be the mama.

it makes me wanna run far. far. away. take a three hour nap. read a pile of good literature and have someone bring me copious amounts of coffee and delicious foods…possibly for days…

“without the suffering Mary, mothers who feel the sting of sorrow over their children would have lacked a model. mothers should not forget the trials and loneliness of this Mother during the public life of her Son, her anguish on Calvary, and those long years after the Ascension in which she waited to join Him in heaven. suffering and anguish will surely come to Catholic mothers because of their sons. let mothers look to and pray to the Mother of Sorrows, the Queen of the Afflicted.”

her heart was in it.

and so every. single. morning. i start my day with: i believe….

it’s like my own little magnificat. my weak little soul’s way of magnifying the Lord…

and then the good things shift into focus: a little stamp collection started by the baby, with some help from sissy. a kitty in the kitchen. a successful fractions lesson with scones.

successful pumpkin spice scones that taste so very sweet and yummy!

that nature walk the other day with the baby and my dad. we looked at trees and leaves. my dad’s eyes were as blue as the fall sky. and the baby’s hair had a golden red glow like mine!

oh, yes. i’ve missed this space. i miss documenting my life.

not for readership sake. but because every life is a story and i want my kids to know what our story was someday….

for better and for worse.

i really aim to keep up more often. it’s been too long.

i think my heart just might be in it again…..

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11 thoughts on “her heart just wasn’t in it…

  1. If your heart is not in it, well, it’s just not fun. Do what you love. Your kiddos will see that!

    I, however, do love your posts, great to “hear” from you again!

  2. I’m always so excited when I see a post from you! I think all of us mamas can relate to what you’ve said. And, this time of the year, no matter how I hard I try, it just gets out of control. I want to keep it simple, focus on Christ… but, wow, “it” just takes over! On a lighter note, I made peach scones for the first time not long ago. They were yummy. I’m gonna have to google pumpkin spice scones and see what I can find. Peace!

  3. This is a touching reminder, that we have our Blessed Mother as a model for the happy days and especially for the dry and uninspired days.

  4. Glad to see you here again. Those scones look soooo good. Sometimes just taking a different angle is so good for the kids (and mom). =)

  5. When we are having those days (and I emphasize the plural dayS) when our hearts aren’t into it, because I so get that, we will help each other through. Clinging to our Blessed Mother, who loves us through these times with the gentlest words of comfort and encouragement. Just pondering that quote helped me! That is a powerful perspective to meditate on! Her sorrow, loneliness and longing! She SOOOOO understands and is ready to help us respond “YES!” just like she did.

    XO.

  6. I can’t help but smile, as you sound so much like yours truly. “What is the matter with you kids? You are not behaving like Christians! Can you please go for ten minutes without a fight?!” And my heart isn’t into the algebra, either. I hated it at 15, and I hate doing it now with my smarty-pants twelve year-old. We are spending way too much time on math each day, and sometimes I just tell her to knock off for the day and pick it up tomorrow…she is fretting that she will never make the math grades to get good scholarships, and I tell her she is twelve years old and need not worry so soon.

    It’s nice to have you back, Regan…I’ve missed you!

  7. I’m feeling like this too often, too. Always playing catchup and never catching up and definitely never taking the time to do the things that I love. Thank-you for pointing us in the right direction.

  8. I liked that you mentioned recommiting yourself each day…I have to do that, too. Every day I wake up thinking ‘it will be different or better today’. Sometimes it is! The scones do look so very good; is there a bit of chopped pecan included?

  9. I just found your blog from the Catholic Mothers Online blogroll.

    I just went through a “slump” myself. It was a short notice dinner guest that got me movin again. God knew what it would take to motivate me. I actually blogged about it very recently.

    I’m learning, slowly, to just accept the slumps, eventually I always naturally cycle out of them.

    “For everything there is a season…” – (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

  10. Such a great reminder of why we do it and how we can, even when it gets tough. It’s so hard to see that when we are in the middle of it, but with our Heavenly help, we are stronger than we know. Thank you for inspiring me with this post.

  11. Christine on said:

    I miss you. Hope everything is ok!

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