tickled

“if we could stop the moon. and june. stay, june, stay. ~christina g. rossetti”

that poem has been going through my head all month long. but i don’t really care to stop june. or the moon for that matter. i truly believe that each month is beautiful in its’ own special way. designed by none other than a loving God who is always so generous in HIS gifts.

the weather in our neck of the woods was beautiful for a last day day of june. we spent a good part of it outside in the morning and the late afternoon and evening. i was really inspired by jess to finish my own alphabet quilt, which i started two summers ago. i cannot believe how time flies. i wish i didn’t drop the ball so much with projects. especially sewing ones. today i found a quilt top with a giant star in the middle that i began when the children were much smaller and i had very little time to do anything. but not much has really changed as far as that goes.

i think it funny that so often we sew for sport, when families used to depend on mother’s sewing for warm blankets and the clothes on their backs. i guess i am so old fashioned for thinking myself a terrible mother if i don’t at least contribute something from my own hands to my childrens’ wardrobes. to their lives. the food they eat. the napkins they wipe their mouths with. or the towels they dry their hands with. little handsewn touches. my love in every stitch. sometimes they notice. other times they don’t. but that is not the point. i grew up this way.  my mother’s love surrounding me in our home. our bedrooms. pillows. tablecloths. embroidered samplers. i remember that the last quilt she made me, i took with me to the hospital when my first son was born. somewhere there is even a tiny bit of blood, from labor? i am not quite sure, perhaps from all the after bleeding. but either way, that was my blankie. in many ways i was still her baby. and so i don’t ever discount the power of those handmade things.

another thing i found today was a light cotton nursing blankie that she made with fourth of july fabric when my littlest son was born. he had such a sweaty head, but modesty always prompted me to cover him when i nursed in public, so she made me a stack of such coverlets.

one day my daughter found a box of fabric scraps in my old room and she realized that they were from every single thing that my mother has ever made for her. she sat there and cried, saying that she couldn’t believe that someone loved her this much, to do such a thing for her. they are for the “someday quilt”, which we will work on together. it may or may not get finished. maybe someday she’ll find it in a box. with all of the other unfinished things which will probably be my legacy.

but i am hoping it won’t matter. because i am hoping that she will remember, not just this particular day in june, when the grass tickled our feet so. or our feeble attempts at friendship bracelets. i am hoping that she, and they (those boys) will always remember that i was and am, so tickled just to be their mother.

this post went in an entirely different direction than i originally intended. please forgive me. by the time you read this, we will be saying hello to july. which really tickles me too. we have so much planned already. i get a little nervous just thinking about it. so, enough for one night.

ps. and yes, that is really what my embroidery thread looks like. please don’t judge me. it works quite well. i just search “the ball” for my desired color. no neat little box with cardboard organizers to mess with. i think those things are really overrated.

copycat, sort of

this is going to be such a blah post. it is just too hot for me to produce much worthy of being published. when we came home from mass it was 94 degrees upstairs.

i do have a few things on my mind. my spelling is really horrible at this late hour, so i should keep it short. you ought to see what a fool i made of myself at regina’s. sorry r. i had to quit commenting for fear of further erring.

so, i think i am ready to be kicked off of the catholic mother’s online blogroll any second. if i haven’t already. somehow i don’t think i posted the icon/scroll down thing correctly. there is no blogroll showing. i don’t know if i have the skill to fix it.

my keyboard is acting up. probably needs batteries. is it just me or does something always need batteries. phones. toys. mouse-es. cameras.

do you still lullaby your kids to sleep? i do. the two little ones still need stories and songs. and face to face. cheek to cheek . breath becoming one. contact. warm milk. tea. footrubs. benadryl. more stories. different songs. like ones that don’t make them cry. comforting because of “issues”. childhood traumas like “i never got a chocolate cake for my birthday.” and then darling daughter, who has no patience for anyone’s drama but her own, begins a moral dissertation on how there are children in this world who have never even had chocolate cake……..it makes me tired just writing about it. longfellow called it the children’s hour. and it is. at least for me and mine. the most precious and serious talk of the day tends to come out during this hour. they have my undivided attention. unless i am secretly wishing i was sewing or something when said drama ensues. but it is during these times when things like: “what did i do when i was a baby and you tried to leave me mama?” come out of little mouths. “when you were a baby, i never left you because i loved you so much”, i tell him. “do you love me now?” he asks. “more than anything in the whole world.” (excepting brothers and sissy, of course) and then there is this part of me that wonders if the jackson children even have it as good as mine do. i mean with their father’s millions do they know how rich  we are? i mean these kids (mine) are treated like royalty. which is why i cannot comprehend why my oldest seems hell bent on breaking my heart almost on a minute by minute basis. well, enough of that. but if you have one of these, you know. you will nod and not think me crazy, rude or mean. it is just so hard to balance out all the lives, emotions, wants and needs of so many little people and even the not-so-little ones that so think they don’t need me. when in reality they do. LORD, please bless all the mamas in this world who try to do Your will in raising godly children in an ungodly world.

jennifer has given me an award, which i am humbled to receive. be sure to visit her and tell her how cute she is! and what an awesome writer!

and finally, something worth showing. a copycat-sort of- market bag. or actually a library bag for a little girl who likes to look fashionable when she is bringing books home. i really didn’t use anyone’s “pattern”. so in that way, i am not being a copycat. i have one more cut out. another half-way sewn. and another in my mind. i can’t believe that i am actually cutting into some of my vintage sheets and fabric. this hurts you know.

hope your monday is filled with some kind of loveliness.

some great things

from others:

a yarn basket

fabric scrap memory game

an alphabet quilt

child’s travel pillow

market bags

friendship bracelets

and not nearly as creative, but nevertheless, from us:

water balloons

 

bowling

 

rootbeer floats

can you tell what age group i am mostly hanging out with these days? and that i am trying to find ways to keep the t.v. off and still stay sane….happy weekending friends. stay cool.

summer lights

during hot summer nights doesn’t it seem like regular old lights just won’t do? i lit candles all over the house and it  had such a magical effect on everyone. the kids turned out all the lights and played hide-n-go-seek in the dark. there is really nothing more fun to do in a big, old house such as this. with lots of closets and secret places to hide, i so enjoyed all of the squeals of anticipation of being found out and the laughter of the “seeker” ringing throughout the whole house. it truly was music to my ears. there was one slight incident of someone falling out a window. from downstairs, luckily. but it wasn’t long before they were at it again.

 when it was time to close everything up, i went out and called gordo to come inside and he was nowhere to be found. i was upset and so my husband came out to help me look for him. i was already out the gate, calling his name, whistling softly. annoyed because i couldn’t figure out why my dear husband was fooling with the rabbits at a time like this. well, evidently gordy wanted to sleep with the rabbits tonite. in their cage. that fat bulldog opened the rabbit cage from the top. climbed in. and was sleeping with ginger and pickles. it was too dark for a picture. but it is something i will not soon forget. my husband said that he noticed the other day that the cage was really tweaked on the top and this probably was not his first time. thank goodness he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. he has never harmed any of the other animals. not the kittens or the chickens. he is just one silly dog!

(glow sticks in the bathtub….FUN.FUN.FUN. the green one makes “hulk juice” and the others look kinda like light sabers. who knew these things were so great as bath toys?)

after much needed rest today. and lots of praying and spiritual reading off and on. i feel so refreshed. living waters. i read a lot about those. and also doing the will of the Father. isn’t it wonderful the way He provides the right words at the right times. He is really the best summer LIGHT. during these summer nights.

contradictions and endings

 

the end of ten. well, not really, as she will be 10 for a whole year. but the end of the day is here and she was so tired she was in tears. i kind of felt like crying myself. i am tired too. who knew motherhood was going to be such a demanding job. the fun stuff, like parties and playing is nice, but i could sure use the help of a small clean up crew. enlist the birthday girl’s help, you say? why what a lovely idea. there is nothing like taking advantage of the elated feelings of a party girl and turning them into something useful.

in the end, it was a great day. the girls behaved wonderfully. they played nicely. and only one brought a doll dressed like a stripper. (check the flickr pictures and you’ll notice which one). i am a firm believer in modesty for the dollies. but kids these days……..

i am feeling spiritually dry. i think i need a few days to unplug and maybe even do a mini-retreat by myself. i don’t know why, but i’ve really been wanting to listen to some beautiful music. something classical, soothing and soul-stirring.

i am working on a picnic blanket as we have been frequenting the little park across the street in the evenings when the weather is cool. there are a few trees and we sit on the grass and just talk. or play tag. though tonite we took the sidewalk chalk and wooden bowling set. we even kept score. that is until gordo got out of the yard to follow us and tried to eat our bowling ball. so that was the end of that! yet more proof that the saying, “all’s well that ends well”, is not necessarily true. because in spite of the tears. in spite of my dryness. and even in spite of dogs who eat toys, God is good. He loves us. He is merciful.

today was the feast of St. John the Baptist (happy birthday barb!). and i know that i have read before about hisspiritual dryness. imagine that. even THE Baptist of all people, felt it. i guess if i never was close to God, i wouldn’t even know what dryness was. so i am at least thankful for the times He is there to quench the thirst. and in this particular situation, “all’s well that ends well”, would apply to living a life for God, toughing it out during the trying times and in the end, seeing Him face to face. such a contradiction. i am a contradiction. just like tears after a party. something is always missing. or so it seems. and even that might be a contradiction. please forgive me for rambling friends, i did only get 3 hrs. of sleep. well, i guess i’d better go before the birds start chirping again. goodnite. or good morning. depending on your time zone.

lemony snippets

or rather, i guess this post could be called: what i do when i should be sleeping. but i thought lemony snippets was much more catchy. it is almost 5am and i have yet to sleep. i can hear the trash man. i wonder how he can even see. it is still dark outside. i wonder how i’ll be feeling in 7 hours, with a house full of little girls, well, not really full, but 6 is a lot, considering it is usually just me and my girl. i should’ve taken something to relax. but there was a cake to be made. lemon. with chocolate/sour cream/cream cheese frosting. and miles of wood floors that needed mopping. and it seemed so much more fun to stay up and make these pom pom daisies and birthday banner. martha stewart would be proud that i copied her daisies so nicely. not happy because i didn’t buy the ones in the store. but proud. my girl said to me, “but how will you make the petals, mom?” and i am so terrible that i almost felt like it was a challenge. so, 12 petals. cut imperfectly. tacky glue and a yellow pom pom for the center. and did you notice that i took the cake out of the oven with a completed pot holder? yes, i finally finished it. i even taught myself how to finish it. i’ve already started another one. it is white cotton. so impractical for the kitchen, i know. but i am dying to edge it with some pretty crochet lace i made. my very own pattern.

this party was supposed to be simple you know. finger foods. veggies. cake and icecream. but for some reason i don’t work well with simple. i waited until the eleventh hour to do everything. it seems that i only work well under immense pressure. i know it is a terrible character flaw. so, do tell me what you all do when you can’t sleep. and don’t tell me you pray. i only can seem to do that if i actually make it to bed and am just laying there (sorry mom). another character flaw, yes. so if you don’t hear from me for 3 days, you’ll know it is because i am sleeping somewhere. but at least i have left you with these yummy lemony snippets.

and btw. that cake came out sinfully yummy too. i won’t tell you how i managed a taste. it totally has to do with yet another character flaw and i am afraid i have revealed far too much for one nite! ok. i really must go. i am now hearing birds chirping………

for all the ways

you’ve colored my world pink. purple. red. yellow. and peach. for your big brown eyes. your soft little cheeks. your smile. for your book-wormness. library loving. sharing of strawberries and cream. sunset and flower walks. thrifting companionship. dollies. tea parties. frilly dresses. fairies. garden help. cooking lessons. laughter. tears. scrapes and bruises. learning to ride your bike. piano lessons. concerts and plays. nail biting. braids. for the million ways that you are so much like me, yet very much your own person. i thank the God who gave you to me. and pray that He wills to give you many, many, more birthdays. years with which to love HIM, serve HIM, know HIM and to be with HIM one day forever. my beautiful. beautiful. girl.

happy birthday. love always, mama.

still on my toes

those party shoes were so that i could go and keep a watchful eye on this young man. he was in that quincinera this weekend and the whirlwind of festivities involved in this “coming out ball” of sorts, for a girl who turned 15, kept me on my fashionable toes!

 i am glad it is over though. so much running around. haven’t really been able to enjoy summer fully. now if i could just get thru the tiny party on wednesday for my girl who turns ten. it will be on a much smaller scale than this grand affair we’ve just been to. just 5 little girls. a lemon-chocolate cake. lots of little finger foods. a few games and mostly just some good, old-fashioned doll playing. a girl needs that you know.

well, the reality of monday is here with a vengance. i’m on my toes again. just without the heels. the dishes. the laundry. taking the suit back. grocery shopping. a quick thrift store run to look for a better bowl for the chicken’s water because she keeps tipping it over. i have a headache that even a piece of dark chocolate didn’t seem to cure. i think it is from lack of coffee. i only drank it once this weekend, but every time i do, i regret it because this is what happens to me.

and no, i didn’t drink the weekend away, with all of the festivities/holidays going on. i have a teenager to keep an eye on, remember? shame on you for thinking such things……..

party shoes

 

 did i mention that i love shoes? i always have. probably since i was a tiny girl and i was given my first pair of high heels. my grandmother’s friend passed away, she was a small lady, and my grandma had been given some her things. well, i spied some gloves and a pair of red high heels with a strap around the ankle. i was hooked.

my mother had a friend named martha and martha came over often. and when she did, she brought with her the most exotic looking shoes. flats with sequins.  strappy gold sandals with a slight heel. martha was also a tiny lady, of oriental origin, whose feet were just.my.size.

one year my grandmother took me school shopping and bought me a pair of turquoise flats. i think my whole wardrobe became shades of turquoise that year just to accommodate those shoes.

then there was the summer i took ballet lessons. after the “fling” with ballet was over, i was into ballet shoes. needless to say they wore out quickly and i always needed another pair. sometimes they were white. others black or pink.

somehow, though, over the years as my children increased, the number of shoes lining my closet became fewer and fewer. kids need so many things you know. like food. electricity. piano lessons and such.

somehow, also, with each child i became clumsier. and my heels got flatter and flatter. and then gasp….suddenly all i wear are flip flops. if i am feeling daring i’ll buy a pair of leather ones, with a pretty flower right between my toes. and just recently i did splurge a little with these.

i guessi shouldn’t let my girl watch that what not to wear show.  i think she sees me in practically every person they feature. the lowest point for me was when they recently brought mayim balik of the t.v. show blossom. i so loved that show. i even had one of those hats she used to wear with a rather large floral arrangement on it. i never thought there was anything wrong with the way she dressed.

but anyway, my point to all this rambling, at a time when i really should be in bed, was just to show you my party shoes. i’ll be wearing these all day and night tomorrow. i hope i can still feel my feet by the end of the evening. i wonder what kind of shoes blossom would wear to a party…….

happy, happy weekend friends. God bless fathers everywhere. yours. and most especially mine.

planning

i am not really sure just what it is we are planning. at first it was a little party. excuse me. a tiny party. and i only paid $7- for it on clearance at michael’s. but then when she found out rebecca was coming, due to great-grandma’s generosity, suddenly the whole thing has become more about rebecca. what will she wear? where will she sleep? what day can she be opened? on the actual day of her birthday? or the “party” day. i know there is a ton of controversy surrounding these dolls. and i don’t even like knowing that someone else is spending their hard-earned money on just a doll. but at this point, when i see the sheer glee on her face. delight at the prospect of playing with this doll, it is worth it. because she won’t be this “tiny” forever.

so don’t tell her i am kind of excited too. i bought a pattern a while back-if only i can find it because of the move-for some dolly dresses and night gowns. and of course she’ll need an apron. and a purse. i want to finish her quilt. and………ahem. i know rebecca is not mine. but what can i say? i don’t mind having something to do. after all, it is summer vacation.

and besides. this

is what i have to deal with in between all of the fun stuff. trying to make tiny party hats for people who don’t take well to other people having parties. birthdays or otherwise. period. and all of mama’s attention. people who even after you go to the trouble of making them their very own tiny party hat. out of green paper. they end up using it as a “dinosaur horn.”

now where is that doll. and when will she be here………..