contradictions and endings

 

the end of ten. well, not really, as she will be 10 for a whole year. but the end of the day is here and she was so tired she was in tears. i kind of felt like crying myself. i am tired too. who knew motherhood was going to be such a demanding job. the fun stuff, like parties and playing is nice, but i could sure use the help of a small clean up crew. enlist the birthday girl’s help, you say? why what a lovely idea. there is nothing like taking advantage of the elated feelings of a party girl and turning them into something useful.

in the end, it was a great day. the girls behaved wonderfully. they played nicely. and only one brought a doll dressed like a stripper. (check the flickr pictures and you’ll notice which one). i am a firm believer in modesty for the dollies. but kids these days……..

i am feeling spiritually dry. i think i need a few days to unplug and maybe even do a mini-retreat by myself. i don’t know why, but i’ve really been wanting to listen to some beautiful music. something classical, soothing and soul-stirring.

i am working on a picnic blanket as we have been frequenting the little park across the street in the evenings when the weather is cool. there are a few trees and we sit on the grass and just talk. or play tag. though tonite we took the sidewalk chalk and wooden bowling set. we even kept score. that is until gordo got out of the yard to follow us and tried to eat our bowling ball. so that was the end of that! yet more proof that the saying, “all’s well that ends well”, is not necessarily true. because in spite of the tears. in spite of my dryness. and even in spite of dogs who eat toys, God is good. He loves us. He is merciful.

today was the feast of St. John the Baptist (happy birthday barb!). and i know that i have read before about hisspiritual dryness. imagine that. even THE Baptist of all people, felt it. i guess if i never was close to God, i wouldn’t even know what dryness was. so i am at least thankful for the times He is there to quench the thirst. and in this particular situation, “all’s well that ends well”, would apply to living a life for God, toughing it out during the trying times and in the end, seeing Him face to face. such a contradiction. i am a contradiction. just like tears after a party. something is always missing. or so it seems. and even that might be a contradiction. please forgive me for rambling friends, i did only get 3 hrs. of sleep. well, i guess i’d better go before the birds start chirping again. goodnite. or good morning. depending on your time zone.

lemony snippets

or rather, i guess this post could be called: what i do when i should be sleeping. but i thought lemony snippets was much more catchy. it is almost 5am and i have yet to sleep. i can hear the trash man. i wonder how he can even see. it is still dark outside. i wonder how i’ll be feeling in 7 hours, with a house full of little girls, well, not really full, but 6 is a lot, considering it is usually just me and my girl. i should’ve taken something to relax. but there was a cake to be made. lemon. with chocolate/sour cream/cream cheese frosting. and miles of wood floors that needed mopping. and it seemed so much more fun to stay up and make these pom pom daisies and birthday banner. martha stewart would be proud that i copied her daisies so nicely. not happy because i didn’t buy the ones in the store. but proud. my girl said to me, “but how will you make the petals, mom?” and i am so terrible that i almost felt like it was a challenge. so, 12 petals. cut imperfectly. tacky glue and a yellow pom pom for the center. and did you notice that i took the cake out of the oven with a completed pot holder? yes, i finally finished it. i even taught myself how to finish it. i’ve already started another one. it is white cotton. so impractical for the kitchen, i know. but i am dying to edge it with some pretty crochet lace i made. my very own pattern.

this party was supposed to be simple you know. finger foods. veggies. cake and icecream. but for some reason i don’t work well with simple. i waited until the eleventh hour to do everything. it seems that i only work well under immense pressure. i know it is a terrible character flaw. so, do tell me what you all do when you can’t sleep. and don’t tell me you pray. i only can seem to do that if i actually make it to bed and am just laying there (sorry mom). another character flaw, yes. so if you don’t hear from me for 3 days, you’ll know it is because i am sleeping somewhere. but at least i have left you with these yummy lemony snippets.

and btw. that cake came out sinfully yummy too. i won’t tell you how i managed a taste. it totally has to do with yet another character flaw and i am afraid i have revealed far too much for one nite! ok. i really must go. i am now hearing birds chirping………