gold star days

literally. because we cut out and “glittered” gold stars this morning. on the porch. soaking up the sun. while drinking juice. and talking about all sorts of things. for a minute we were even hot in our warmest clothes. but it felt so good.

figuratively speaking it was a gold star day because my husband fixed the badly behaving washer. it is only ten years old. too young to retire. and he brought home a Christmas tree that is making this house smell so pine-y and yummy.

it was a gold star day because i had an interested kindergartener. this is fun mama. he said to me. and he listened to stories. even a story without pictures. king midas and the golden touch. it captivated his attention with just the words. and as a teacher, in this day and age, where so many things captivate our childrens’ fancy(ies) with sights and sounds. bells and whistles. i felt victorious knowing for that short time it was just me and him. the book and the sound of my voice. and it was enough.

speaking of captivating. and victorious. i am finding peace knowing that i have yet to “get” advent right. i have been a catholic all 33 years of my life. a seriously practicing one for only about 10 years and there are still so many things i don’t “get”. there are so many feast days this month. activities. crafts. and things vying for my attention. but luckily i am still that child too. the one who can be captivated with just words. the words of my God. when He speaks to me. and that has to be enough right now.

so for that. i give myself a gold star. for efforts’ sake. two days of being sick with a migrane is great for clarity on these sorts of things. revelations and such. and it suddenly came to me that i am not a bad mama because we’re not getting everything done on those lists. sometimes we just have to be. i don’t want this time with my children to look like these pictures. blurry. knowing that there is some kind of beauty there in the background. but i can’t quite make it out. because i didn’t stand still. because before i know it. i’ll blink. and they’ll be gone. these gold star days.