finally

the petit fours are a reality.

and they really aren’t difficult.

they are sweet. and oh-so-pretty.

cake recipe here.

yes, i am only showing these two because don’t you know i am decorating them in between loads of laundry?

the loads of laundry that are spilling out of my laundry room into the dining room…

this is temporarily a mad house and in order for me to be even slightly sane i am taking lots of deep breaths and ignoring many. many things.

after a recent good read: i totally agree with the author!

life is too short to fold fitted sheets!

now while i do not normally condone profanity and i don’t agree with everything written…i had more than one aha! moment while reading this book. ( i just taught my daughter to fold fitted sheets not two weeks ago. but that is totally beside the point.) 

but if you have read this book or do so in the future. please share your laughter with me about that completely hilarious thing said about the author’s idol on the very first page. i won’t repeat it. but every time i think about it i laugh so hard my cheeks hurt.

and finally.

what do i want to remember on this almost last evening of june?

 that there have been swallowtails flying madly around my neighborhood. we see them constantly. and it takes so much restraint not to just drop everything and run outside to chase them.

that the littles and i watched toy story 3 today and we liked it. a very sad coming of age theme made me think of the bigger boys.

that middle son is sort of just ho-hum right now. no great. big. plans or dreams. he worries me a bit. he is so sensitive and quiet. lost in being almost thirteen. what a confusing age that can be…

that the littlest boy has his first loose tooth. and it is affecting the way he talks. very animated anyway, you should see the way that thing is forced to wiggle and writhe with every word that comes out of his mouth.

that the biggest boy completed his jr. firefighter program. received a certificate and is now volunteering at the local fire station for 3 hours once a week. 

that i am not feeling summer quite yet. and i guess it’s because we haven’t found our summer rhythm. but maybe we won’t and i need to accept it. and get over it.

that this week is bubbling over with things. busy things. and perhaps that is the reason for my somber mood.

that i am craving quiet. and the only way to achieve such a goal is to learn the gentle art of saying no.

which i have done twice this week for THE first time. and i was scared. but i set my foot down. albeit gently.

and i’ll tell ya: i could get used to it.

it felt good. and right.

and that, friends. is the end of that.

literally.

i really over-used the word.

my good-ness

there is so much good-ness.

the jr. firefighter and all of his gear. the pride he takes in standing tall and training hard.

bye-bye baseball. hello free time.

n’er a  dull moment when all of the food looks so vibrant!

afternoon papercrafts.

shadows. and bringing the garden-y goodness inside.

a new tin of tea.

and my 3rd pair of these shoes. for $9 on clearance at target.

of course this is only a fraction of my goodness.

my girl turns 11 today. and that God has given her to me for these past eleven years is good-ness. bittersweet goodness though. 11 is big. and though we haven’t grand plans for this year. a series of calm. quiet celebrations will suffice. or so she says.

this will be the year that i attempt those petite fours. and add “eat me” tags per her request. pictures to follow. only if they turn out prettily.

i recently ventured, very briefly, into the working world. doing flowers for a sort of big fat greek wedding. no i am not a professional florist. so why would someone hire me. a completely untrained flower person. that still remains a mystery to me. and the fact that i pulled it off with hardly any “glitches”….is yet another mystery. and an attestation to the power of prayer!

happy wednesday, friends.

i know wednesdays are usually wordless. but really, i am bursting at the seams…

once upon a time….

i used to be a blog-ger. or a word-press-er if you want to be technical.

but i just saw (on someone else’s blog) that i last posted. *gasp* six. days. ago.

i wish i could say i’ve been on an impromptu vacation. or sewing lots of pretty things.

but unfortunately i’ve only been tying up a bunch of loose ends. the kinds of loose ends that only a mother can tie.

summer is teasing us right now. we have really warm afternoons. but the evenings are still cool. cool enough that if we sleep with the fans on we wake up with sore and scratchy throats.

we have 3 new kittens.

school is officially over. yet somehow my brain is already racing towards next year. how much is math curriculum going to cost me? is it worth leaving the charter school? will this be THE year? filing that affidavit is such a pain. etc. etc.

i am being summoned to read stories again.

that is a deja vu. didn’t i just write that only days ago?

a series of steady repetitions.

that is the beat of my life right now.

sort of orderly. as orderly as it gets for me. struggling to manage the unmanageable. trying my hardest to “attract the gaze of God”.

doesn’t that have a nice ring to it? i read that in the magnificat the other day.

well, that will always be a part of my story anyway. the trying part.

once upon a time there was a mama who tried. and at night she was so. so. tired. because she didn’t drink coffee anymore.

the end.

goodnite friends.

i’ll be back soon….

oh, yes…

summer days are some of the best days.

fresh veggies from the csa. i’ve never eaten more greens in my life.

really, is there anything more fun than blowing bubbles with bare feet? whether you are 6 or 60 i think not.

girl “friends” visit and barbie fashion shows. judging these types of things is so hard for us mamas.

Sacred Heart atc’s abound. and i am so pleased to feature them on our june altar. which has such a sweet. red. glow in the evening.

life is good. because GOD is good.

happy thursday friends!

i leave you with a blessing for you and yours from me and mine:

Sacred Heart Blessing

May the Grace and Blessing of My Sacred Heart be with you

May the Peace of My Sacred Heart encompass you

The Merits of My Sacred Heart plead for you

The Love of My Sacred Heart inflame you

The Sorrows of My Sacred Heart console you

The Zeal of My Sacred Heart animate you

The Virtues of My Sacred Heart shine forth in your every word and work

And may the Joys of the Beatific Vision be your Recompense in Eternity.

~Amen.

savoring

thyme. and time.

admiring a boy brave enough to chew on grass.

stopping to smell the sweetest flowers. and chase butterflies that look like tiny flying pansies through the woods.

making slivery wishes. gazing at long-girly lashes and the “bling” on her glasses. she did it herself. and gets compliments on them almost everywhere she goes.

finishing the baseball scarf. i am on my third skein of yarn. but not quite done yet. after traveling around with me since april. to many a game and practice. i am such a slow knitter.

today we read a story about a chicken who was knitting at the beach. i think i am that chicken.

stopping to gaze in every nook and cranny. and finding the strangest things. blue-throated lizards. and pinkish thistles.

yes, life, even without the curls, is pretty darn good.

i won’t even mention how behind i am in EVERYTHING. and at this point i just don’t even have it in me to “catch up”. summer is right around the corner. and i am ready to catch up on geometry embrace it with open arms.

how about you?

flight or fight?

“LORD JESUS CHRIST, Good Shepherd and gentle Master, i bless and thank You for Your utter desertion and abandonment, when, at the moment of your greatest need, all Your disciples and acquaintances forsook You and left You alone among your cruel enemies. Your chosen brethren and friends had promised to give their lives and to die for You, but when the time came to prove themselves, they chose flight and deserted You.

How useful it would be for me to reflect on this scene at greater length and not to presume that anything great can come from me. Though the grace of new fervor sometimes fills me during prayer, i know not how long it will last, nor what will happen to me in time of temptation. If the very pillars of heaven, the apostles of Christ, quaked in the hour of trial, how then will a frail weakling react when even a slight temptation comes his way?

There are those, Lord, who use harsh terms in admonishing the holy apostles for having so shamefully deserted You. The apostles fled because they had been so overwhelmed by fear. But these faultfinders do not see how every day they themselves quickly turn away from the truth-it all depends on how love or hate moves them.

i beg You, dear Lord, to keep me from falling into such madness of heart that i should depart from the holy purpose i have set for myself, but that i should follow You wherever You go, whether it be to life or death. may i never desert You in time of adversity nor yield to the concupiscence of the flesh and content to sin, but, in my pursuit of virtue and for the love of You, may i prove myself by manfully facing a variety of trials. if i were to give in to my slothfulness, i should lose You, my Supreme Good.

let not the foot of the proud overtake me because of some good work i have done. let me not speak presumptuously as did Peter, preferring myself over another or considering myself everyone’s equal, rather by humbly acknowledging my own weakness, may i always act with fear of You.

May St. Peter’s fall and the apostles flight serve me as a warning against sin rather than be obstacles in my path. let their return to repentance instill in me the great hope that i, too, may seek after mercy after my own failings; for there is no one so holy that does not sometime fall into venial sin. if it should happen that i am deserted by friends and acquaintances or am looked upon, by those whom i love, as a stranger and as one who is worthless, then grant me, as a special remedy, to recall your complete desertion and abandonment, that i may readily forego all human consolation, and in some small measure be conformed to You as You undergo Your trials.

Gentle Jesus, forgive me for having so often offended You, for so easily turning to vanities, and for not setting my heart on that which i have proposed to do. how often i look back on the amount of time i spent on so many things, all far from important, while i paid no attention to Your Passion. You have proceeded me along the narrow road, and with eyes dry i pass by as if Your sorrows have no effect on me.

remember my foolish heart and instill in it a loving remembrance of YOUR most bitter Passion.”

meditation from:

~thomas a’kempis

on the passion of Christ

always june

roses and cool weather.

yet just warm enough to get wet.

salads-with this yummy dressing- eaten outdoors by candlelight.

sleeping with the windows open at night.

oh, yes. wouldn’t it be wonderful to live in a world that was “always june”.” ~l.m. montgomery.

but then again if it was always june my birthday girl would be constantly growing older. and that i cannot have. a year older. each year. is sufficient for me.

a relapse of this nasty flu still has me out of sorts. i spent memorial day in bed most of the day. monday marked a full 14 days of being sick and i’m done. Lord, give me another cross, please. a light one.

i am almost finished with those pillows for the couch. the slipcover part is finished but i couldn’t seem to get a really good shot. there was that darn scratched coffee table. then it was stacks of books and a toy basket. a pesky boy model who kept wanting me to take his picture. and then those daisies from my grandmother’s garden-they wanted to be in on the whole thing too. so this is as good as it gets.

i feel myself slipping out of this virtual world more and more. the pull to serve two masters is awful and i often feel as if i am being torn in two. the happenings on this great big web. the ideas. the people. the thoughts and ideas are so alluring. yet so many things are happening here that need my immediate attention. the struggle to balance time online is ever so elusive to me. i go away. i come back. i go away again. yet i ache for the escape….it’s ok to want to escape now and again, isn’t it? even if it’s only upstairs. to a quiet screen with a blinking cursor. and pictures of happy people lives and beautifully laid out. finished projects.

the biggest boy has been accepted into a junior fire academy program. i have been steering him towards this career. albeit gently. because i so want stability for him. and for his future family.

God is good as this prayer. at least for now. has been answered.

as a homeschooling mama, career paths/decisions are heavy on the heart. you want them to succeed. not just for their sake. but sort of selfishly because you have educated them yourself. if he (they) succeed, you have succeeded. if they fail, you have failed.

yet deep down. in that humble spot. you know it is really ONLY by the grace of God that one succeeds in life. because sometimes even our biggest failures are allowed to happen for a greater good.

a greater good that we just cannot see in this life.

so, happy june, friends!

and have a blessed week.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us….