undone

there is a false spring here in cA. i am in full-on de-cluttering mode. literally grasping and seeking out a place for everything…..

yesterday i found an old to-do list that read: re-paint the cradle. it is a doll cradle mind you. it was given to me as a gift the year she was born and then she used it for her baby dolls.

now here we are. two years later. and that same cradle remains unpainted along with a pile of a few other things ready to be put away. 

the little wooden high chair is there too. how did that happen?

some things shouldn’t be left undone.

but they are. because other things and happenings take their place.

and then one day you are sitting in the midst of a pile of stuff and you want to cling to it not because of what it is but because of what it symbolizes: the love.

where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.

my treasure isn’t the pile of old sports jerseys. a nana-made batman cape that we left in the movie theaters once and had to return to look for it. a cub scout kerchief and book. pajamas that my husband, their daddy, painted with glow-in-the-dark paint, telling them they could have anything they wanted…that time i left on retreat…7 1/2 years ago. or the t-shirts they made the summer we went camping. reminding me of that summer when my mama and i walked in the dark and watched a thunderstorm. in awe of the beautifully lit night sky and the power of lightning.

my treasure isn’t even that old cradle.

my treasure is all those souls who have crossed their paths with mine. their hearts and bodies entwined so intricately with mine.

some mornings i find their blankets and socks in my bed. tangible signs that they’ve been there. with me. with us.

i don’t know why i need these tangible signs so much.

i won’t even get started with how i parted ways with the last of the baby clothes….

there is just something so sacred and precious about these years.

the parenting years.

and they are so fleeting.

and holding on to what is fleeting is impossible.

we are meant for what is eternal.

so i hate it that much- if any-of my time is wasted doing things like de-cluttering.

but it’s all part of the struggle: the martha/mary struggle.

both the work and the contemplation call out to me.

there must be a way to bring some sort of harmony and balance. reconciling the two.

yes, de-cluttering can be a prayer.

that is what He tells me.

simplify. simplify. simplify.

it is a theme that keeps running through my head.

it’s your job. He tells me.

to remove things and happenings from your life and theirs.

you can put some things in a box.

to remember.

but let the rest of it go.

let it bless someone else.

the real things that should never be left undone aren’t really things anyway.

and it is your responsibility to figure out what those things are….

with collections and knick knacks in every corner…i ponder. daily.  just what is it exactly that He is wanting me to remove?

it’s easiest to start with what is broken and mismatched.

what about the baby clothes?

yes.

but what if there is another baby?

do not worry about what that baby would wear.

you cannot and will not reconcile the tangible with the Eternal.

He wants to be the center of it all.

and that’s just not possible when there is too much stuff.

so much to contemplate. this de-cluttering thing.

especially when it applies to so many areas of my life….

i suppose i’ll always be the most undone thing in my life.

broken and mismatched.

gently i unite this thought to the hearts of Jesus and Mary.

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11 thoughts on “undone

  1. Oh my chest is aching reading this. I need these tangible things too. I can’t seem to break free of that. The clothes, the drawings… You said it well enough, I’ll stop there.

  2. Those things might be undone, but they are just “things”. You can let them go. It’s the Love that matters. The Love is still there. The Love will always be there.

    I’m going through the same thing with my baby boy clothes. After so many girls, it’s funny, it’s easy to let go of those girl clothes. But the boy clothes? Not so easy.

  3. Chrisitne on said:

    LUB the legos.

    I will have to post some pics. my 15yr old made this past weekend.

    I will spend a zillion dollars on Legs cause they get used.

    KISS…keep it simple sweetheart!!!

    lub to you as you clean clean clean

  4. annita on said:

    Once again, I beautiful post to ponder. God bless you, Regan!

  5. annita on said:

    Oops! Obviously, I meant *A* beautiful post!

  6. Great post! I have the urge to declutter often and often act on it … I like not having to clean around and under stuff. Just reading your post makes me want to go through the couple piles sitting near me, but I need to pack and make lunch instead. Decluttering will have to wait!

  7. Oh. This is so thoughtful. I am pondering it all. And will reread it. Your dialogue with the Lord is so beautiful. He is so with you on this journey. That is so obvious, Regan. What a gift our faith is! I have so much of this that I want to do. Deciding on the right balance of mementos to keep for sentimental purposes, you know just enough to remember. So hard. But right now it’s the other stuff that I just don’t know what to do with. Everything does not have a place in my home right now. And it’s weighing on me. But this also isn’t the time or season for that. My prayer and my family need top priority and more focus. And so I have to let go. And know that I will be OK. But that always is easier said than done.

  8. Great post. I am in the middle of going through things that may or may not make the move with us. It is hard, but I will take to heart that God will lead the way to a simpler life. Thanks!

  9. When you’re done over there (and you have to be one day!) will you come here and pry the crap outta my hands???? I have ONE bin left of baby clothes and my youngest is 13 for Heaven’sakes!!!! You’ve inspired me. I will pack it all up (except their baptismal things/coming home from the hospital outfits; I’m saving those for shadowboxes). Ugh. The other stuff? No idea. None whatsoever. I’m insane to keep it. The linen closet needs purging. Someone else can put these clothes on their kids.

    Hello, Good Will. Please find a home for these things. Amen.

  10. Love the pictures. And the words.
    I’ve struggled…but it’s so much easier for us military families to detach from material things…mainly because they are a visible and literal burden every time we move. I try to weigh very carefully what to keep. I feel better when I know someone will use/appreciate the hand-me-downs I give them. Overall though, it’s so true…what good are all these pretty things here on earth? They will be so insignificant compared to eternity.

  11. Just came upon your blog….lovely
    I look forward to reading more.
    Have a Blessed Friday!

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