exchanging nice-eties

thank you for all of your sweet birthday wishes! i really wish i had the time to write an individual note to every person that wished me well yesterday. just know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

it was a lovely day. the weather. the company. the homemade cards. birthday poem. and the two cakes. yes, there were two cakes. it’s as if the ones i love are trying to make me fatt-er. God bless them.

someone taught the baby to ride his bike sans training wheels yesterday. there should be rules against this sort of thing on mama’s birthday. i didn’t need to have a piece of my heart torn out.

“i am kind of a big boy now,” he told me. rubbing salt in the wound.

i realize that this same someone is just picking up where the biggest brother left off with him. this is something siblings do. helping each other to grow up. a concept completely foreign to me. the only child. the helping part. not the growing up.

i am, after all, a grown up now.

changing the subject a bit: my first japanese iris bloomed. how tall and graceful she is.

this is blooming too. i thought it was a hollyhock at first. but now i am not so sure. i would like to know though. i like to be on a first name basis with all of the members of my garden.

i’d like to know that gopher’s name too so i can yell at him to go bother someone else!

well, i’ll leave this space now. wishing you all blooming flowers. soft yarn. sticky baby kisses and cake. and any and all other nice-eties that your heart desires. it is still easter people. hooray!

but i have to get back to my spring cleaning.

except i never got to bleaching those sinks.

not yet anyway.

exclamation points and moving in fast forward

i just realized that many of these pictures have exclamation points in their captions. perhaps it is my way of trying to put a voice into these snapshots.

snapshots of things that mean so much to me.

a me who seems to be moving in fast forward these days.

nevertheless. a me who still wants to press pause long enough to make sure the camera has charged batteries and enough memory to cram lives overflowing with blessings into snaphots such as these.

i am the memory keeper of this family. and it is a job i take very seriously.

it’s too bad that i am also the chief sock wash-er. easter grass cleaner-up-per. baseball game chauff-er. birthday cake mak-er. movie screen-er and tak-er. because sometimes i feel that i am not doing a very good job at keeping the memories. or even making sure that the socks get washed for that matter.

but as i approach my 34th birthday. i can’t help but ponder my role in the lives of all of these people whose lives are enmeshed with mine.

i read something from the easter meditation in the magnificat, written by the Holy Father, Pope Benedict, about being refreshing as spring water to those we meet.

in short we must radiate the Living Water of Christ to a parched world.

i hope you’ll find something of that here.

and just know that it’s all HIM.

for you. and for me.

ALLELUIA!

HE is risen as HE said!

ps. did i mention that the baby is reading?

on this day

16 years ago. at 10:14 a.m. after only 5 hours of labor:

i became a mother for the first time. 16 isn’t sweet. it is bittersweet. for reasons that only those of you who have teenagers will understand.

nevertheless. he served at Mass this morning. “Christ’s page at the altar.”

St. John Berchmans, patron saint of altar boys, please make intercession for this boy.

my altar boy.

may God bless him. and keep him in HIS care.

forever.

~amen

contradictions and endings

 

the end of ten. well, not really, as she will be 10 for a whole year. but the end of the day is here and she was so tired she was in tears. i kind of felt like crying myself. i am tired too. who knew motherhood was going to be such a demanding job. the fun stuff, like parties and playing is nice, but i could sure use the help of a small clean up crew. enlist the birthday girl’s help, you say? why what a lovely idea. there is nothing like taking advantage of the elated feelings of a party girl and turning them into something useful.

in the end, it was a great day. the girls behaved wonderfully. they played nicely. and only one brought a doll dressed like a stripper. (check the flickr pictures and you’ll notice which one). i am a firm believer in modesty for the dollies. but kids these days……..

i am feeling spiritually dry. i think i need a few days to unplug and maybe even do a mini-retreat by myself. i don’t know why, but i’ve really been wanting to listen to some beautiful music. something classical, soothing and soul-stirring.

i am working on a picnic blanket as we have been frequenting the little park across the street in the evenings when the weather is cool. there are a few trees and we sit on the grass and just talk. or play tag. though tonite we took the sidewalk chalk and wooden bowling set. we even kept score. that is until gordo got out of the yard to follow us and tried to eat our bowling ball. so that was the end of that! yet more proof that the saying, “all’s well that ends well”, is not necessarily true. because in spite of the tears. in spite of my dryness. and even in spite of dogs who eat toys, God is good. He loves us. He is merciful.

today was the feast of St. John the Baptist (happy birthday barb!). and i know that i have read before about hisspiritual dryness. imagine that. even THE Baptist of all people, felt it. i guess if i never was close to God, i wouldn’t even know what dryness was. so i am at least thankful for the times He is there to quench the thirst. and in this particular situation, “all’s well that ends well”, would apply to living a life for God, toughing it out during the trying times and in the end, seeing Him face to face. such a contradiction. i am a contradiction. just like tears after a party. something is always missing. or so it seems. and even that might be a contradiction. please forgive me for rambling friends, i did only get 3 hrs. of sleep. well, i guess i’d better go before the birds start chirping again. goodnite. or good morning. depending on your time zone.

lemony snippets

or rather, i guess this post could be called: what i do when i should be sleeping. but i thought lemony snippets was much more catchy. it is almost 5am and i have yet to sleep. i can hear the trash man. i wonder how he can even see. it is still dark outside. i wonder how i’ll be feeling in 7 hours, with a house full of little girls, well, not really full, but 6 is a lot, considering it is usually just me and my girl. i should’ve taken something to relax. but there was a cake to be made. lemon. with chocolate/sour cream/cream cheese frosting. and miles of wood floors that needed mopping. and it seemed so much more fun to stay up and make these pom pom daisies and birthday banner. martha stewart would be proud that i copied her daisies so nicely. not happy because i didn’t buy the ones in the store. but proud. my girl said to me, “but how will you make the petals, mom?” and i am so terrible that i almost felt like it was a challenge. so, 12 petals. cut imperfectly. tacky glue and a yellow pom pom for the center. and did you notice that i took the cake out of the oven with a completed pot holder? yes, i finally finished it. i even taught myself how to finish it. i’ve already started another one. it is white cotton. so impractical for the kitchen, i know. but i am dying to edge it with some pretty crochet lace i made. my very own pattern.

this party was supposed to be simple you know. finger foods. veggies. cake and icecream. but for some reason i don’t work well with simple. i waited until the eleventh hour to do everything. it seems that i only work well under immense pressure. i know it is a terrible character flaw. so, do tell me what you all do when you can’t sleep. and don’t tell me you pray. i only can seem to do that if i actually make it to bed and am just laying there (sorry mom). another character flaw, yes. so if you don’t hear from me for 3 days, you’ll know it is because i am sleeping somewhere. but at least i have left you with these yummy lemony snippets.

and btw. that cake came out sinfully yummy too. i won’t tell you how i managed a taste. it totally has to do with yet another character flaw and i am afraid i have revealed far too much for one nite! ok. i really must go. i am now hearing birds chirping………

for all the ways

you’ve colored my world pink. purple. red. yellow. and peach. for your big brown eyes. your soft little cheeks. your smile. for your book-wormness. library loving. sharing of strawberries and cream. sunset and flower walks. thrifting companionship. dollies. tea parties. frilly dresses. fairies. garden help. cooking lessons. laughter. tears. scrapes and bruises. learning to ride your bike. piano lessons. concerts and plays. nail biting. braids. for the million ways that you are so much like me, yet very much your own person. i thank the God who gave you to me. and pray that He wills to give you many, many, more birthdays. years with which to love HIM, serve HIM, know HIM and to be with HIM one day forever. my beautiful. beautiful. girl.

happy birthday. love always, mama.

planning

i am not really sure just what it is we are planning. at first it was a little party. excuse me. a tiny party. and i only paid $7- for it on clearance at michael’s. but then when she found out rebecca was coming, due to great-grandma’s generosity, suddenly the whole thing has become more about rebecca. what will she wear? where will she sleep? what day can she be opened? on the actual day of her birthday? or the “party” day. i know there is a ton of controversy surrounding these dolls. and i don’t even like knowing that someone else is spending their hard-earned money on just a doll. but at this point, when i see the sheer glee on her face. delight at the prospect of playing with this doll, it is worth it. because she won’t be this “tiny” forever.

so don’t tell her i am kind of excited too. i bought a pattern a while back-if only i can find it because of the move-for some dolly dresses and night gowns. and of course she’ll need an apron. and a purse. i want to finish her quilt. and………ahem. i know rebecca is not mine. but what can i say? i don’t mind having something to do. after all, it is summer vacation.

and besides. this

is what i have to deal with in between all of the fun stuff. trying to make tiny party hats for people who don’t take well to other people having parties. birthdays or otherwise. period. and all of mama’s attention. people who even after you go to the trouble of making them their very own tiny party hat. out of green paper. they end up using it as a “dinosaur horn.”

now where is that doll. and when will she be here………..