giving them what they need
time to create. imagine. play. breathe fresh air and take long walks in search of baby pine trees and new flowers we’ve never seen before. making friends with wee small creatures. firsthand sightings of jack rabbits and chipmunks. blue jays. woodpeckers. and mountain chickadees. some old friends. others new.
during this little “break” i finished a few projects that have been in the WIP basket for a while.
yes, in a step towards organization i actually made a basket for all of the WIP’s and have committed to working on them one by one. vowing not to start anything new. but adding it to my “list” in my home-keeping notebook if it is a project i can’t get out of my head. (like some black sock knit fingerless gloves for myself)
i am so glad to have finished that rag doll. she was so important to my girl and once i got started i didn’t want to stop. the days for snuggling with rag dolls are not long enough and before i know it she’ll be on to other things.
however, chances are, if you give a girl a rag doll, she is going to want clothes to go with it… so i have been busily working on hand-sewn outfits. blouses and petticoats. (nana made the skirt). not easy. so tedious. and such little stitches. but i have to admit: i love hand sewing. i think this is really my forte. it is very soothing to me. and not much is involved. just fabric. needles and thread. ( i did create a little pattern for the blouse i made though. so as to avoid it not fitting properly. that can be so frustrating!)
so there was a little tooth tucked away in a pocket of my purse. it has been there for weeks. i am ashamed to admit this publicly, but it is sometimes like this for fourth children. they wait patiently for mama to do the things she once leapt up enthusiastically to do for the first and second child. and mama, in order not to fail completely, comes up with this clever pillow. hoping that forgiveness will come…and it does. luckily the fourth child is pretty forgiving.
i am thinking about school. still not sure what i’m gonna do. the clock is ticking though. i hear it. yet i put a pillow over it to cover up the incessant ticking. why? when this is my 11th year? and i should be a pro by now. why am i so insecure? and unsure?
because i don’t let God. that’s why.
and because giving them what they need is so much harder than giving them what they want.
not these two. but the bigger ones.
it’s exhausting really.
and one should not have to think such exhausting thoughts in august.