{the spring of things}

Lent must be over. i am laying in bed with a laptop, well, on my lap, a plate of strawberries and some of this at my right side and to my left my ipod sits, should i get any moves on words with friends, my newest obsession.  {and it only became an obsession-i must add-while i was sick for over a month with a nasty upper respiratory infection-which left me pretty much with zero energy-stranded in the crook of the couch-which oddly, is not where i really like to be….}

what would we do without our little indulgences, eh?

i wish i could say i’ve been up to a whole slew of interesting things. but i come to this space empty….

winter was long. cold. and harsh to me. mentally. physically. and emotionally.

my body and soul deeply experienced winter like never before.

maybe it’s because my big boy turned 18 and the baby turned 8.

the baby who just asked me not to call him “moomie” or “baby” anymore.

but alas! spring is here. and like the sweet budding, blossoming trees, i feel a change coming….

i’ve got some sewing projects that are almost ready to be shared.

yes, i think i like this getting into the spring of things….even if it’s bit by bit….

there is a storm outside {literally}. april is so unpredictable. like me.

but it’s my month! my birthday is in 2 days! this mama will be 36 years young!

my girl took this picture of me on easter. i don’t know why my eyeliner looks cleopatra-ish. she did some funky editing thing i’m sure.

and i might’ve requested some light airbrushing on my “age spots”. have you noticed when you are young they are called “freckles” but when you get older suddenly they are “age spots”?

ew. i don’ t like that.

i do like this mama hummingbird though. she has a nest in our big elm tree. we are keeping our eye out for signs of babies, but with the crazy weather i’m not sure how well those babies are faring. only time will tell….

i’m reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally looking forward to finding my niche here again. i’ve missed it so.

but only time will tell that too….

happy easter-ing, friends.

xo.

dear july….

before i forget…and you are gone…

i wanted you to know that you have been so good to us.

with your cool mornings.

and your scattered wild sweet peas on the side of the road.

of course we picked a few. for our Sacred Heart Altar.

and of course there was that day at the beach…

filled with sand and seashells. the sun was hiding. and the roar of the ocean almost lulled me to sleep…

except there was so much to see…everyone made a new friend to play in the waves with. and then there were treasures to behold…

and then we tried those scones we heard about here.

they were absolutely deliciously lovely.

i was proud to perfect my hamburger buns recipe for the bread maker. quick. easy. and loved by all.

even the pickiest of eaters.

there is still so much i could i write about…but some things will just have to be our little secret…

and instead i will close with my favorite quotable that i read this month…i hope you will enjoy it too…

“one of the commonest natural experiences of the sense of loss is tiredness: it empties us out….it is useless to reproach a tired heart. and when we are tired out the only way to God is the simplest wordless act of faith. a woman too weary for articulate prayer will find that for her the best of all prayer is the unspoken act of faith in Christ in her children when she knows that  she is setting the table and baking the cake (or scones!!) for the Christ Child, her soul will be at rest.”

thank you, july magnificat for that.

those were soothing words to this weary mama.

happy weekend friends.

hope to see you monday.

with good news of a safe and successful surgery.

 

calm. cool. and collected.

forgive me. please. but Someone. very kindly. sent a wee bit of cool weather our way and it has me under its’ spell.

and i have become a fool for boys who sleep clutching their harmonicas…now whether he is doing it out of love for said harmonica or because he knows if he doesn’t  i might just hide it somewhere really good…might be one of those things i will never know…

and maybe we are both better off.

because let me tell you…tolerating the noise sound of that harmonica MIGHT just be one of the criteria that needs to be met for sainthood.

and if that is the CASE, friends, i have failed miserably.

for i hate that little harmonica.

but i LOVE that baby.

and so i digress…

from the title of this post…wherein i tell you how calm. cool. and collected i am.

and how the sight of these peonies makes me calm….

i think it should be mandatory that people  HAVE to buy peonies at least ONE time every summer.

and then have a drink….

like my mama did at this wedding we went to on saturday.

just me and her.

i was her escort.

i made sure that she didn’t have too much wine and that her friends didn’t spin her around too much on the dance floor(that really almost happened).

hence my cautionary warning about too much wine.

at least for middle-aged ladies.

well, really any lady…because it just isn’t proper.

summer weddings are so nice.

it was kind of fun sitting around watching everyone talk and laugh.

everything so magical and enchanted. white orchids kissed by afternoon sunlight.

a tented reception. chandeliers hanging. glowing candles.

very pretty.

but all i could really think about was my new toy.

and how much i wanted to play….

so off to bed i go.

but before i do i wanted to ask for prayers. for a special intention that will hopefully be resolved tomorrow.

and if not, well, then it is not the will of God.

and i will ask Him for peace.

until then….

hope you, too, are staying calm. cool. and collected!!!!

xo.

 

 

glittering summer days

dirty feet. water balloons. a wet kitchen floor.

i am having a staring contest with my messy house.

things get a little bit crazy around here when mama is not feeling well. 

i have slowed way down.

like snail slow….

 when you lose your health (even if temporarily), things sort of shift into proper perspective (with God’s grace).

and suddenly you hang desperately onto something as small as teaching the baby how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe…because that’s important.

at least it’s important to me.

so what if the stuffing is coming out of the couch….i can deal with that later.

right now we are enjoying these glittering days of summer:

a very empty calendar (by choice!!!) = time to create.

butterfly craft found here.

i had way too much fun punching all. those. butterflies. out!!!!!

and she, well, she is the artist. so there were pages of watercolors…

the pottery…well, that is courtesy of our local pottery shop which holds children’s classes….

yes, this is me screaming…”look how talented my daughter is!!!”

what can i say? i really love watching my children blossom. 

and make things.

(that is a decorative wine-cork-topper btw. a painted button glued into the top of a cork.)

i think it is (one of the many) very special components of homeschooling…dabbling in this and that…

and we do dabble…

speaking of my daughter…she went and turned 12 on me last month…did i mention that?

how dare she!

my june bug.

but what a lovely person she is turning out to be!

donning an apron and whipping up some sort of yummy baked (or not) concoction at least every other day is something that has me in awe these days…i am impressed.

and not just because her peanut butter cookies are so good!

i am impressed because of the little woman she is turning out to be.

useful. joyful. and so faithful.

these are the things i see during this time of pulling back…

and because there are so many things to say “yes” to these days…it is hard.

but i want to say more yeses to these…

these gap-toothed smiles.

and inquiring minds.

so worthy of my attention.

i often feel like there must be some well-adjusted woman out there who i was meant to be…

a woman who has her act together and cruises through her days….

but until i find her…i will soak up every moment i can….staring at faces with pink cheeks and scratches from the kitty…reading stories and laughing.

because it won’t be long before these glittering summer days will be gone….

little i

i had a break down of sorts today.

i am disenchanted about a lot of things and people in my life that i have no control over.

mostly teenagers and dripping faucets.

both can be so annoying.

picking the weirdest times of the day to, well, annoy me.

i took a warm bath this morning.

perhaps that is how it began….

water can be so cleansing in many different ways.

and then i think i went back to bed.

i cried a few times.

it felt so therapeutic.

and then i had a warm cup of green tea with lemon.

no coffee for once.

i didn’t want to feel jittery and energized.

i wanted quiet, calm peace.

the kind that comes when you’ve “cried till you have no more tears left in you.”

and i did feel “as if nothing is ever going to happen again.”

i also prayed like i haven’t prayed in a while.

and really, that is what i needed.

little i. big HIM.

we do this sort of tango.

i know HE is there.

it’s passionate and intimate and beautiful.

and then there are days and days when i don’t make the time to have a good heart to heart with HIM.

and HE gets jealous.

and i, being the fallen human being that i am, tend to look at prayer as ONE MORE THING i need to do, but don’t really want to…

because i am tired and achy and stressed.

and there are dripping faucets and teenagers. and junk everywhere. and laundry. and it’s 102 degrees outside.

and i am a control freak-weak-minded-sloth.

“christianity is not easy: the great religious struggle is not fought on a spectacular battleground, but within the ordinary human heart, when every morning we awake and feel the pressures of the day crowding in on us, and we must decide what sort of immortals we wish to be.”

yeah, so i am quoting a lot of c.s. lewis.

but sometimes someone else’s words are better.

they sound better than my own pithy, pitiful jibberish.

i do detest pithy, pitiful jibberish…and speaking of such…the baby just woke up from a pouty nap he was taking on my bed…he, too, is feeling sorry for himself.

it’s so hard to be bored.

this kid wants constant entertainment.

so i guess i will do us all a favor and get off of here and go find something to do…

thanks for letting me vent, friends.

i don’t know why it is so easy for me to do it here….quietly, yet strangely outloud…in the blogosphere.

just because

who doesn’t love sweet peas?

and because i’ve missed writing.

and sharing.

and taking some time for me.

 

i took some pictures for a friend of her daughter’s first Holy Communion this weekend.

i felt honored that she asked me. and tickled to stick my eyeball in that lens.

i really want to do something further with photography.

my head says, “go for it!” 

i am passionate.

but my heart knows it’s not time.

this is not my season for doing anything other than what needs to be done here.

do you have dreams too?

things you’ve put off because you are a mama to many?

i’ve always coped with this just fine.

why is it bugging me all of a sudden?

burnout probably.

summer is almost here.

we have one. more. week. left.

then that big girl graduates.

sigh.

i really intended for this post to go in a completely different direction.

but my fingers got the best of me.

happy monday, friends.

happy sweet peas.

happy mothering.

and happy dreaming!

 

well…

the owls are finished. this one was completely designed and sewn (mostly) by my very artistic girl. who is hogging  learning to use my sewing machine.

we’ve been devouring copious amounts of halloween candy pomegranates.

i am really surprised that all of the sugar vitamin C  hasn’t kept this terrible flu/cold bug from hitting us.

i am teetering on the edge of becoming its’ next victim.

you know how life is on the edge. your eyes are burning. no they are not. you are achy. but not too achy to play florence nightingale. you keep taking the strongest stuff in the house because you refuse to succumb!

you’d rather discuss butterfly watching.

and watercolors.

or finish rolling that ball of yarn so you can start a pair of handwarmers for yourself  for once.

but sadly, there just aren’t enough hours in the days.

i say days because it seems that lately i just can’t get my act together.

this is a season of “too many targets”, as fulton sheen says.

aiming at perfection in too many ways.

instead of THE only way that matters.

so in an effort to get through this season i am letting the winding down happen.

naturally.

beginning with ignoring my two-year blog-o-versary that just passed.

i went back to that first blog and noticed that the more things change. the more they stay the same.

briefly, the same-ness:

i was still shuffling clutter around. dealing with too much halloween candy. and thinking about the very controversial presidential election/voting issues.

the changes?

i don’t need here so much.

i am content to lurk in the blogosphere and soak up the good things.

but no longer do i compare myself to others who seem to have it together more than i.

this community is beautiful. wonderful. and i wish i’d had it when my kids were younger.

maybe i would’ve had more time?

however, not all that glitters on the internet is gold.

i don’t feel guilty anymore for lack of posts.

i am perfectly at ease just laying in bed next to warm toasty bodies instead of uploading and editing pictures into the wee hours in the morning.

i have come to terms with my gifts as well as my shortcomings and imperfections.

i am a better photographer.

a horrible knitter.

sometimes i have nothing to offer this blog.

and, well….

well, that is ok too.

case closed!

raindrops on pumpkins

and tin signs on doorknobs.

these are just two of my favorite things…..

some of my other favorite things. this very night. include:

:singing my babies to sleep. songs that are some 16 years old for me. that’s how long i’ve had an audience.

:running my fingers through their hair and stroking soft. velvety foreheads.

:clear. sparkly nailpolish. and actual nails to paint! (i stopped biting…and, well, i am pretty thrilled with my stubs!)

:warm showers. the string of butterfly lights twinkling in the bathroom. and a comfy robe to put on.

:body scrub that smells yummy.

:chocolate covered bing cherries from trader joe’s. i hide them in the fridge so they stay nice and cool. and so no one else can find them.

wishing you a weekend full of lovely. favorite. things.

seen & noted:

the baby. measuring the rain. in a rainbow colored shot glass with the words acapulco, mexico plastered to the side…plastered…ha! no pun intended.

bible test. question number 31: after noe, people became more…larger and larger.

hmmmmmm.

that shot glass is looking more appealing as the day goes on.

and i don’t drink rain water.

better

oh. those. kinds. of. days.

the kind where you burn your tongue taste-testing your husband’s morning coffee.

and middle son uses your favoritest tea towel. the one you embroidered as a young girl. while you were still living at home. dreaming of your own home. to wash the car.

and the baby eats a bowl of yogurt and frozen blueberries in your bed while you are away visiting your sick grandmother. so when you come home. and fall into said bed. you collapse on said bowl. and it hurts.

no. this wasn’t quite what i dreamed it would be…

it’s better.