about this:

on st. therese, the little flower: “to all ecstasies she preferred the monotony of an obscure sacrifice.”

and this: on people, by c.s. lewis: “there are no ordinary people it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit.”

and these roses from mother’s day:aren’t they beautiful? they are from my beautiful sister-in-law’s beautiful garden!

i did just use the word beautiful three times!!! but i had to. there was just no other word that applied properly.

i am also thinking about the baby. he is sick. he came down with a fever late this afternoon.

i noticed, when he came in from playing in the treehouse, how pink his cheeks were.

i am thinking about how i was resentful when this sick child, after being all snug in his bed (our bed) and almost asleep, about to leave me in peace to finish some paperwork, could possibly want something to eat!

feed a fever starve a cold?

so i made him some strawberries and yogurt. the last bit of my favorite yogurt. and then he only took a few bites….leaving his germy leftovers for me to finish like a glutton.

i dropped his spoon on the floor. and gave it to him anyway.

shame on me. i know.

(3 second rule clause???)

what kind of mother am i anyway?

certainly not always a very good one.

this is ALWAYS my argument to people (of other faiths) WHY the Blessed Mother had to be different.

conceived without sin.


she never gave Jesus a spoon from off the ground.

or silently complained to herself. gritting her teeth while performing those lovey mama tasks that are so necessary.

you’ve done little awful things like that too, haven’t you? come on. be honest now….

please make me feel better.

i did redeem myself by cuddling said baby. and singing him to sleep.

and even though  i did squirm my way out from under him to post these thoughts….i won’t abandon him on the couch to go get a few hours of good sleep. i swear i won’t.

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8 thoughts on “thinking

  1. Feeling your “pain.” Faith has been sick for what seems like forever. Could the baby possibly have Fifth’s Disease (sounds worse than it is) which comes with the very red cheeks? I suspect Faith is on the tail end of it — it’s a common Spring ailment.

    Don’t feel badly, I was not a very nice mama yesterday. In fact, when Faith started acting a little more her normal self, I told her she better hope she sleeps normally (not up coughing all night like the night before) because I didn’t plan to be very nice. Lovely, eh? Yes, our Blessed Mother was an extraordinary mother. God would not have allowed his Son to be spoken to like that!

    Hope you have a restful day. Grab your knitting and camp put on the sofa.

  2. OH, I’ve done what Barbara’s done and what you’ve done. I’ve even made them, after throwing something away they weren’t supposed to, if it wasn’t on anything….dare I say it? Take it out of the garbage. (really only if nothing was on it, like if it was still on their plate on top –we use paper plates a lot)

    Oh, gosh, that sounds terrible.

    See? Your thing is nothing compared to mine.

    Have a great day….

  3. i don’t see how dropping a spoon on the floor and giving it to him is bad at all? really…he came in from a tree house doing who knows what and most likely putting his fingers in his mouth over and over and after touching who knows what. germs? those which don’t kill us only make us stronger.

    my kids are going to be super heroes.

  4. Christine on said:

    I agree with ChristineC…this is nothing. My kids know I am human…I tell them a lot. I try to be fair.

    I think your flowers are beautiful beautiful beautiful…3times! and so are you.

  5. Oh, Regan. I can relate. We are so tired as mothers that illness is the last thing we want to deal with. And yet that’s when they need us most. Mine are sick right now, too. Fevers and coughs … Everything we think we’re going to get done has to be put aside for another day, and that’s hard to accept sometimes. And of course you’re not alone. I’ve said some terrible things, too. We all have. We are human and so imperfect. Thankfully, we have a perfect Mother to turn to. Someone we can look up to and try to imitate. And she will always lead us to the unconditional love of her Son. And His grace will make us stronger, wiser, kinder and holier.

    Hang in there! I hope your son is better soon.

    P.S. I really don’t think the spoon thing is a big deal either. I’m sure your floors are clean enough that even a 10-second rule would apply!

  6. Haha, oh come on, dropping a spoon is not a sin. I’m pretty sure the Blessed Mother believe in the 3 (or 10) second rule. =)

  7. REGAN!!!!!!!!!!

    I found you again! It took a Holy Spirit moment and google to do it, but I did it 🙂

    A wHiLe back (think fall), I had to delete my blog roll – I had some funky stuff going on with my blog. And I admit that I havent been blogging in almost a year. Just the occasional post (b irthdays, mostly).

    Congrats to your son on his FHC. My first boy made his the day before Mother’s Day! Such a glorious wknd!

    Anyway, I’ve missed you and your smiling “face”! Can’t wait to reconnect my friend!

    (OH! and I’m going to L.A. [Alhambra] next month to see my sister in the convent! CAn’t wait! It’s been almost 2 yrs since I’ve seen her)


  8. Oh, and I had to tell you why you flew into my mind (again) this am….
    I posted “Little Wonders” on my blog music….


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