contradictions and endings



the end of ten. well, not really, as she will be 10 for a whole year. but the end of the day is here and she was so tired she was in tears. i kind of felt like crying myself. i am tired too. who knew motherhood was going to be such a demanding job. the fun stuff, like parties and playing is nice, but i could sure use the help of a small clean up crew. enlist the birthday girl’s help, you say? why what a lovely idea. there is nothing like taking advantage of the elated feelings of a party girl and turning them into something useful.

in the end, it was a great day. the girls behaved wonderfully. they played nicely. and only one brought a doll dressed like a stripper. (check the flickr pictures and you’ll notice which one). i am a firm believer in modesty for the dollies. but kids these days……..

i am feeling spiritually dry. i think i need a few days to unplug and maybe even do a mini-retreat by myself. i don’t know why, but i’ve really been wanting to listen to some beautiful music. something classical, soothing and soul-stirring.

i am working on a picnic blanket as we have been frequenting the little park across the street in the evenings when the weather is cool. there are a few trees and we sit on the grass and just talk. or play tag. though tonite we took the sidewalk chalk and wooden bowling set. we even kept score. that is until gordo got out of the yard to follow us and tried to eat our bowling ball. so that was the end of that! yet more proof that the saying, “all’s well that ends well”, is not necessarily true. because in spite of the tears. in spite of my dryness. and even in spite of dogs who eat toys, God is good. He loves us. He is merciful.

today was the feast of St. John the Baptist (happy birthday barb!). and i know that i have read before about hisspiritual dryness. imagine that. even THE Baptist of all people, felt it. i guess if i never was close to God, i wouldn’t even know what dryness was. so i am at least thankful for the times He is there to quench the thirst. and in this particular situation, “all’s well that ends well”, would apply to living a life for God, toughing it out during the trying times and in the end, seeing Him face to face. such a contradiction. i am a contradiction. just like tears after a party. something is always missing. or so it seems. and even that might be a contradiction. please forgive me for rambling friends, i did only get 3 hrs. of sleep. well, i guess i’d better go before the birds start chirping again. goodnite. or good morning. depending on your time zone.

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11 thoughts on “contradictions and endings

  1. I trust Sophia had a lovely 10th birthday. I have been feeling emotional and weepy about my own big girl, so evidently leaving childhood behind bit-by-bit. She is in many ways still a little girl, still loving fairies and dolls, but in many other ways she is moving on to young-womanhood. And it scares the heck out of me because I have to face that she will have a life one day that is separate from my own.

    Una still hankers for an American Girl Doll. That scantily-clad one was probably thinking, “Where are all the guys?”

  2. Being the mother and planning parties is exhausting, once it’s all done, it’ s like we can take a sigh of relief!

    The party looked great! I love your decorations, so beautiful!

    Happy birthday to your sweet girl!
    I was talking to my son yesterday about turning 10 and how special that will be! It seems so old, doesn’t it? yet, they are still young and sweet.

    *that stripper doll does look a little out of place!

  3. Uhhh, yea, one doll doesn’t look like she’s at a 10 year old’s birthday party! Maybe she was running late & couldn’t find her party dress …

    My dd turns 10 next year. I’ve usually done something more special on the 10 year birthday – I’d better start thinking now (or not!).

  4. My only girl with 3 brothers only played with her dolly twice. sigh.

    It is the 3 hours of sleep honey that is making you crabby.

    Get a pillow and catch some zzzzzzzzz’s!

  5. Wow, get that doll some clothes! LOL
    Looks like a cute party. Glad everyone had fun!
    I have a picnic blanket that I started forever ago, it’s going to be a hawaiian quilt. I bought a whole stack of hawaiian quilt squares at a bazaar and it screamed picnic quilt. One of these days I’ll actually finish it LOL Picnics right now would be a nightmare in the 100+ degree weather…

  6. happy birthday!

  7. Carol on said:

    Can’t . . . stop . . . laughing!

  8. my only thought about that doll, was seriously, “who ordered a stripper?” i mean, we are a christian family! and then i noticed that she couldn’t keep her hands off of the champagne glasses. poor lost doll.

  9. The party photos look great! Beautiful cake and decorations. You’re an amazing mom to throw such a fabulous party! =) But I do know that after such a big event, everyone can just feel physically and mentally exhausted. We had a busy week, and that’s how we feel, too—kids, mom, everyone. I hope that you soon find a bit of time to recharge, especially spiritually. Maybe this weekend. God bless you, Regan!

  10. i’m crying i’m laughing so hard!

    speaking of christian like…what kind of mother are you serving champagne to these little dolls? hmnnn????

    did you make those doll hats?

  11. Cute stuff. As always.
    About spiritual dryness – I believe this is when God is more present with us than ever . . . because we actively search for Him . . . does that make sense? Well, I have felt far from God at times – when I am doing, what I believe are all the right things . . . – and, then I realize, He hasn’t gone anywhere. He’s here. The quiet is good for us. Keep doing all the right things and give them all to Him each time. Each thing. All for His glory. Of course, you know this, but it is worth saying. He loves you and is always calling you into closer communion with Him. The desert is also a gift. Embrace it and you embrace God.

    Love ya, chickee!!

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